Jade’s blog

*If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.*

*(Hardly seems worth it.)*

 

*If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced
to create the energy of an atomic bomb.*

*(Now that's more like it!)*

 

*The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.*

*(O.M.G.!)*

 

*A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.*

*(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)*

 

 

*A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
death. (Creepy.)*

*(I'm still not over the pig.)*

 

 

*Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour*

*(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)*

 

*The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.*

*("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")*

 

 

*The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
length of a football field.*

*(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)*

 

 

*The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.*

*(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?** )*

 

*Some lions mate over 50 times a day.*

*(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)*

 

 

*Butterflies taste with their feet.*

*(Something I always wanted to know.)*

 

 

*The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.*

*(not going there)*

 

 

 

*Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people.*

*(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)*

 

 

*Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.*

*(okay, so that would be a good thing)*

 

 

*A cat's urine glows under a black light.*

*(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)*

 

 

*An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.*

*(** I know some people like that.)*

 

 

*Starfish have no brains*

*(I know some people like that too.)*

 

*Polar bears are left-handed.*

*(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)*

 

 

*Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.*

*(What about that pig??)*

 

 

*Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy
facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a
chuckle)...In other words, send it to everyone.*

Appetizer
When someone smiles at you, do you smile back?
Usually I do...unless I'm really tire or in a horrible mood.  Like today
Soup
Describe the flooring in your home.  Do you have carpet, hardwood, vinyl, a mix?
Blah ugly apartment carpet, that has spots on it that I can't seem to get out..... And linoleum in the kitchen and bathrooms...blah blah blah.  I want a house!

Salad
Write a sentence with only 5 words, but all of the words have to start with the first letter of your first name.
Emo elephants empathize easily everywhere

Main Course
Do you know anyone whose life has been touched by adoption?
There is a couple at my church who have tried and tried to have a baby, and she was told she never could be pregnant.  So, they adopted this adorable little boy, T.J.  I think a year, maybe year and a half ago.....A few weeks ago when Jesse and I went to church, she was commenting on how she didn't feel good....because she has morning sickness!  She's pregnant!  And she was never supposed to be able to!

Dessert
Name 2 blue things.
Sweater and mood.

Work. Sucks. I. Know.

For some of my new friends that I've been talking hair with; here are the before and after pictures from the day I finally got to go and get my hair cut--anyway I wanted it!

Of course, ever since then; I've had it cut shorter and shorter!  I'm finally letting it grow out some...I'm thinking I may be ready for long(er) hair.....But NEVER as long as it was!

  I found a picture of me with my mom from forever ago...I don't remember how old I was, maybe 5?  I do remember that we were in Illinois and were at Starved Rock, hiking and looking at wildflowers....

 

 

I have TONS of candle wax for making my own candles...A friend and I made a swap and I ended up with the wax...These are like 10# slabs...and I have like 12 of them!  I do want to make candles....but do you realize how long this is going to take?!  I mean, after you melt the wax and pour it into the mold(s) you have to let it start settingup...then poke holes in the top to release the serfice tension and pour MORE melted wax on top...And I may have to do it again....  It's a tad daunting....  I think I'd rather stick with soapmaking....and crocheting.....  It's been a dream of mine someday to have a small business making and selling homemade things like that, as well as bath salts and potpourri....But I'd better start now with the candles, so I have a good stockpile by the time if and when I open up shop.

I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone .

THESE ARE FOR YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RETURN TO SENDER

Forward to all your friends, including me. And don't tell me you're too busy for this. Don't you know the phrase "stop and smell the flowers"? See how many "bouquets" you end up with!
Happiness keeps you Sweet.
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps you Glowing,
But Only God Keeps You Going!
 

And see how many you receive today.

I actually got up (a little later than I had planned) this morning and turned the tv on, put in my Gilad dvd....and started working out.  I hadn't even made it through the warm up section in the beggining; when the power went out.  Yeah, it came back on, but I know nothing about electronics and power-outages....so I'm a little paranoid.  Does this mean for today I'm going to have to actually, like, maybe workout on my own??  Noooooo!  =)  J/K.......I do need to.  But for now; I'm relaxing with a cup of hot Hazelnut coffee....Yum.  Coffee makes everything better.  And I guess breakfast would probably too...I should go eat.  And go get dog food....and vacuum....and do the last load of laundry....and of course, go to work....

  Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that
 always sound good,
 But never actually come close to reality?
 Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of
 true friendship.
 You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card.
 Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot
 revenge against
 The sorry bastard who made you sad.

 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is
 choking you.

 3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something
 that I must be involved in.

 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every
 chance I get.

 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories
 about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until
 you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

 9. This is my oath. I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
'because you are my friend'.

 Friendship is like peeing in your pants,
 Everybody can see it,
 But only you can feel the true warmth.

Think of 10 of your closest friends that you would want to
 send this to,
 Then get depressed because you can only come up with 4.
              
 

1. It's always darkest before dawn. So, if you're
 going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the
 time to do it.
 
2. Always remember that you are unique. Just like
 everyone else.
 
3. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
 
4. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
 mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize
 them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
 
5. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for
 you.
 
6. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach
 him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink
 beer all day.
 
7. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
 again, it was probably worth it.
 
8. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
 windshield.
 
9. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
 
10. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
 
11. There are two theories to arguing with women.
 Neither one works.
 
12. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
 your lips are moving.
 
13. Experience is something you don't get until just
 after you need it.
 
14. Never, ever, under any circumstances, take a
 sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
 
15. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.